


hands off (hands on)

by Winkyface (shermanerm)



Category: Legally Blonde - Hach/O'Keefe/Benjamin
Genre: Alcohol, Cause it wouldn't be a fic from me without at least a little pining, F/M, Friends With Benefits, In Medias Res, Is I should say it's a thinly veiled pwp, Kink Negotiation, No beta we suffer like degenerates, Pining, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, do not expect an accurate representation of law school, frank discussions about sex, references to orgasm delay/denial, the author has taken two incomplete semesters of community college, the lightest sprinkling of plot
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-16
Updated: 2020-09-16
Packaged: 2021-03-06 16:13:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,711
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26491714
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shermanerm/pseuds/Winkyface
Summary: Elle has questions, Emmett has answers, and everyone has a case of the Horny Brain Rot™. AKA, how to accidentally enter into a d/s relationship with your study buddy and friend, a guide by Emmett Forrest and Elle Woods.
Relationships: Emmett Forrest/Elle Woods
Comments: 16
Kudos: 71





	hands off (hands on)

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know where this came from, but it sure is a thing i wrote and will be continuing to write. If you know me irl and want to ask me about this no you don't <3
> 
> Title came from oh GOD by Orla Gartland, chapter title came from Let's Talk About Sex by Salt-N-Pepa (as you could probably guess).

It was 12:03 am, officially no longer Thanksgiving, and Emmett Forrest couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"Sorry, sorry, I know it's not my business, but- did he really never-"

Elle shook her head, cheeks flushed by both the wine cooler they were demolishing and shockingly, probably embarrassment. "It's not that he didn't, y'know, try, it's just that he's not..." She giggled into her own shoulder, and Emmett's heart clenched painfully in his chest. That was worrying, but he wouldn't bother his doctor about it unless it was a pattern. Wouldn't do for him to have a heart attack before he made partner, though Christ it was certainly a possibility. "Very good," Elle finished with a sign as she wiggled her hips to find a more comfortable position on her bed. The answering flush on Emmett's cheeks had little to do with the alcohol consumption, and much to do with the way Elle's hand was clutching the pink comforter as she moved.

"And, I mean," Elle continued, like she wasn't melting Emmett's brain with the conversation, "it's not like I haven't- I  _ did _ live in a sorority, you pick up a few things..."

Emmett knew he should keep his mouth shut, knew that this was a dangerous road they were traveling, but he couldn't help but ask. "Things?"

"Yeah!" Elle jumped up from her tipsy lounge, suddenly energized in a way that Emmett envied. She said it was the energy drinks but he was entirely sure it was just her, powered by her own tiny sun, warming everyone with her presence. He loved that about her-

And that was the end of that train of thought, Emmett decided as he sat up straighter in Elle's desk chair. He watched Elle rush around her room, looking for someth-oh, god.

Elle had pulled out a slim device from her bedside table. With the flick of her fingers it came buzzing to life, and Emmett had never been more glad to be hiding behind Elle's desk. He tried to think about anything other than her giving a demonstration of a different kind, hand clutching the comforter for an entirely different reason. He wasn't very successful, but at least she couldn't see how red his face was in the dim light.

He thought. "Oh, Emmett, your f-face!" she giggled helplessly, arms around her stomach as she doubled over with mirth. That damned thing was still buzzing, a deeper, muddled sound now that it was pressed against her forearm. He couldn't take his eyes off her, and he was beginning to realize it was a pattern. "I'm sorry, my friends and I are really open about this kind of thing," she explained as she turned off the little wand and tucked it under her pillow with what looked like practiced ease. "I didn't think about it. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable." She was frowning by the time she was done, looking chastened despite the fact that Emmett hadn't said a word.

"I'm not," Emmett lied, only because the discomfort was entirely physical and entirely his own damn fault. "Sorry, I'm just not used to people um, talking about it so freely. But I mean, I'm a grown man, I am capable of talking about sex."

Elle got a strange look in her eyes, and Emmett got worried. "Actually, Em, can I ask you a question?"

Emmett nodded, wondering what she could possibly ask that would've been a segue from vibrators. "Of course, Elle, what's up?"

"How do you, um." She giggled nervously. "How did you find the time to, to  _ relax _ when you were in school?"

Emmett's brain went very quiet when he realized what she was asking. Was this how friendship worked in Malibu? Casually ask your friends about their undergraduate masturbatory habits? "Wh- I-"

"I'm sorry, I know that's a terribly invasive question," Elle backtracked, "I'm just- it's hard-"

Oh it's hard alright, Emmett thought ruefully, as Elle giggled at her own crass wording.

"-It's  _ difficult _ to find the time. And I figured hey, I know a guy who had  _ way _ less free time than me when he was in law school, maybe he has some tips!" She said it all confidently, like this was in fact how friendship worked in Malibu. Emmett was surprised to find he didn't mind it, other than the initial shock. There was something to be said about friendship with a woman who would speak so frankly about anything that came to mind.

"Well, I um. Hmm." He considered how best to answer her question without going in depth into his self-love routine at twenty-three. "It was kind of an incentive, I guess you could call it."

Elle tilted her head at him quizzically. "How so?"

Emmett turned his eyes to the ceiling. He emphatically did  _ not _ want to be holding his friend's gaze while he explained. "I, um. Instead of scheduling it in, or taking an impromptu break from studying, I'd use my uh, alone time as a reward for passing a test, or finishing a tough assignment, that sort of thing."

"Ohhhh!" Emmett turned his gaze back to Elle nodding in understanding. "Like a delayed gratification type of thing, I get it." Then she pouted, and Emmett wanted so badly to kiss that expression off her face. "I don't have very good impulse control, though, so it probably wouldn't work for me."

"Maybe ask someone to help?" Mayday, mayday, abort fucking mission, Emmett needed to stop talking immediately.

Elle tilted her head and considered the ceiling like it held the secret tips she was looking for. "An accountability buddy. Someone I trust, of course. Someone a little strict, maybe." She ran a hand through her hair, sighing in the way she usually did when she saw Warner. "Someone who I know will keep me on track."

"Yeah," Emmett said distantly, trying to avoid thinking too hard about the lucky son of a bitch the Elle was imagining. He was mostly successful, though his brain did fish up an image of Elle, flushed and besotted as she clung to someone's arm, desperate for their approval so she could take herself in hand

"So?" Elle was looking at him expectantly. 

"So...?" Emmett repeated, unsure of what she was getting at.

_ "So, _ will you do it?" She looked at him with pleading eyes from her sprawl on the bed, gently biting at her full lower lip.

"Wait, wait, you meant-  _ me?" _ Emmett.exe has stopped working, please reboot the system.

Elle nodded enthusiastically, heedless of Emmett's inner turmoil. "Well, yeah! You're already helping me study, I trust you most out of everyone, and I already know your exacting standards." She shrugged, shifting against the comforter. "It just makes sense, really."

Emmett opened his mouth to tell her no, that it would breach a professional barrier that should stay intact, that as a TA in her class he's pretty sure they'd be breaking several Harvard codes of conduct. That she'd need to find someone else if she wanted help.

"Okay," he said instead. "If you're sure about this, I'll help."

He should've taken those words back immediately, should've told her that actually, no, he couldn't help her, but the grin she gave him in response made him forget his own name for a bit. By the time he could think again to tell her he'd changed his mind, he was already halfway asleep in his own bed.

* * *

The next morning, Emmett woke up to a wine hangover and a few new emails in his inbox. He made the responsible choice of popping two ibuprofen and chugging half a glass of water before sitting down at his shitty desk chair.

A handful in his Harvard inbox were obviously spam, and one was from Callahan, talking about the promising students he'd noticed so far. Warner was on the list, and Emmett had to step away from the keyboard before he started typing about how Warner Huntington III was actually a terrible choice, and Elle's chihuahua Bruiser would make a better lawyer. Callahan wouldn't listen to him anyway. 

The only email in his personal inbox was from Elle, which was a little odd considering he had seen her less than ten hours before, but maybe he had forgotten something? He opened the email without further thought, then promptly choked on his sip of water.

From:  [ ellewoods6@hotmail.com ](mailto:ellewoods@hotmail.com)  
To:  [ e.forrest@yahoo.com ](mailto:e.forrest@yahoo.com)  
Subject: details

Emmett,

I know you just left a few minutes ago, but I forgot to ask some questions before you left! There's more than a few, so I separated the different themes into bullet points.

  * Do I earn a reward for every passing grade or is there a different criteria? If so, is there a difference in reward between assignments and quizzes? What about larger tests like midterms or finals?
  * Do I earn a reward from studying? If so, what is the criteria? Is it based on pages of notes, or would you be testing me to check knowledge retention?
  * Do I need to redeem a reward one at a time, or can I save them up?
  * How do you know if I've redeemed a reward? Is there a penalty system in case I slip up?



Sorry, I know that's a lot of questions, I just like to know all the rules ahead of time, you know?

Also, are we still on for studying tomorrow? I think I'm really close to getting the hang of some of this section's vocab. (:

Talk to you later! <3  
Elle

Emmett dropped his red face into his hands, trying to will away the unwelcome erection that had latched onto the image of Elle handing him a stack of notes to check, face hopeful and a little bit flushed. And really, the last bullet point was torture. He couldn't help but wonder why she was asking, like maybe she didn't trust herself to not be greedy. Maybe he would need to watch, so she couldn’t take more than she was allowed, and Emmett outright groaned at the idea that she might  _ want _ him to watch, might want him to  _ help- _

Emmett stood up quickly and went to take a very cold shower, reconsidering all of his life choices up to this point.

**Author's Note:**

> if you're thinking to yourself "man, this fic is weird, i should comment and tell them that!" believe me, I'm already aware and a little mortified to be posting it on the internet, but the other option was leaving it in my google docs to never see the light of day and,,, i didn't want to do that lmao
> 
> next chapter is Elle's POV, so, yknow, there's that at least.


End file.
